Enso of Catharsis
by gioia99
Summary: An alternate ending to 4x10 'Die All Die Merrily'. Luna makes one, final decision. Both a story and a character study into why Luna did what she did. One-shot


_Turning and turning in the widening gyre,_

 _The Falcon cannot hear the Falconer;_

 _Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold;_

 _Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world_

The Second Coming, W.B. Yeats

 **Enso of Catharsis**

Luna heard, more than felt the sword pierce her flesh; In an instant, the world was forgotten and her ears rang with the sharp slicing of steel through muscle, bone and leather as time itself slowed to a halt.

She looked down and saw the end of her adversary's blade, an ugly stain upon her once pure body, yet simultaneously so perfect, so precise in its lethal precision that it was almost... beautiful.

She was assaulted by the grim aroma of the black rain, mixed with that of musky metal and dissolving flesh, the gruesome arena a twin to humanity itself. She could even still taste the copper of the King's blood after spraying across her face when she gutted him like the ocean fish back home.

And finally, she heard Octavia's words hiss into her ear.

 _"You're wrong. Some people are worth saving. Just not you."_

That, more than anything else was what broke her. She had not been lying when she proclaimed at the beginning that she would be fighting for a death – just not her own. While the poisoned blot of humanity would be wiped out in the second coming of the flames, she alone would survive, not as the last of her people, or the last of her species, but the only one worthy; her survival made possible by her blood – a gift from the Earth itself, and she had gone into battle fully intent on repaying that gift, replacing black with red, and evil with death.

Now though, it was black blood that fell in incriminating droplets to the artificial floor. In one, single, bone crushing, soul destroying instant, Luna realised her failure. While her blood may have been different, _she still bled_.

Octavia released her grip on the hilt of the sword, ensuring it stayed in her chest, forever branding her as no different from _them_ , homogeneous to the very evil she sought to destroy, forever reminding her of her defeat. In spending too long fighting dragons, she had become a dragon herself, and now, having stared too long into a pitch black abyss, suddenly the abyss was staring back at her.

Finally, the pain hit. It was sharp, and fiery hot, setting her every nerve alight as it consumed her like a hungry twin to the coming _praimfaya_ itself. In that moment, she knew it, as did her enemy. _She had lost_.

She felt not empathetic, her body held no space for remorse, and her mouth would never be able to form the sounds of forgiveness. No, she was angry. And more than anything else, more than losing her people, more than the drill, and certainly more than the sword, her anger _burned._

Trembling slightly, as her body began to shut down, she slowly turned to face Octavia. The Sky girl's face showed no emotion, no joy, no relief, merely a humble acceptance of what had happened – that it was finally over.

That was her mistake.

" _That may be true_..." Her voice whispered soft as the gentle waves that had once lapped her feet, before she channeled all her anger, harnessed the last of her energy, and focussed everything into one, final movement...

She grabbed Octavia's shoulders, and before the other could do anything, she yanked her forwards, pulling her flush against her body, skewering her on her own sword and ensuring that she shared the same fate.

Time stopped again.

The process repeated.

Being so close, Luna could feel every phase Octavia went through. She felt her breath hitch and her mouth drop open in shock, before her chest convulsed in trauma and she let out a small whimper as the same agony hit.

" _But neither are you_." Luna whispered in her ear, delivering the final dose of venom as she held the girl close.

Octavia had no reply – a final confirmation of Luna's victory. She merely hung her head against Luna's shoulder as her legs gave out and she sank to the floor, taking Luna with her.

The sword clattered to the ground beside them as it was pushed from their bodies when they collapsed as one, and there it lay, red mixing with black, forever symbolising that, however different they were, at their core they were the same.

 _People._

People with loves, fears and desires. _Lives._

And now? Now they had nothing. No one did.

Feeling Octavia's weight pressing down on her, her blood warm against her skin, Luna finally allowed herself to relax, content with the success she had garnered.

This was what she had become. This was what the darkness inside of her and plague of humanity had turned her into. Just like she'd told Octavia, she'd tried running from it, tried creating her own world without either. A world amongst salty air, the sea breeze, raucous cries of birds echoing on the horizon. A world of freedom.

But once touched by darkness, it never truly leaves. One can never know what light is without experiencing the dark, but the while the light is attractive and delicate, the dark is tainting, all consuming. A monster.

Luna recalled telling Adria once that the only true reason people run is to escape from something they don't wish to face head on, and that in turning your back and feeling from something, you are denying yourself the acceptance that it is real, which makes it all the more terrifying when you can run no longer, and you are forced to turn around and see that the monster is not only real, but a thousand times worse than it was when first encountered.

Now Luna realised her mistake. She was no different. She had been running too. From the darkness. From humanity. But now, only after this final of conclaves, and with her end on the horizon did she realise that humanity and the dark were one in the same thing.

And now, very soon the darkness is all she will have left.

She felt Octavia slipping away on top of her, felt her breathing start to even and her eyelids droop.

Blood poured from their identical wounds, mixing between them to create an artwork immortalising their battle, and their simultaneous defeat. Both had hated each other, both had clashed blades with the intent to kill, but right now each other was all they had.

The two clutched each other tightly, breasts mashed together, legs entertwined, their shaky breath washing hotly over each others faces pouring from lips close enough to kiss. Driven by the most basic of instincts, the purest of desires to not be alone at the end. Because in the moment you understand your enemy perfectly, understand them well enough to defeat them, you also love them, in a way the same as which they love themselves.

Finally, peacefully, Octavia stilled, her words of " _I'm coming, Lincoln."_ barely escaping her lips before life left her, leaving Luna alone with only her own final thoughts for company.

 _She was the last one alive._

 _She had won._

She allowed herself the smallest of smiles – not sadistic like the one she had worn only a few minutes earlier. No. It was one of contentment. _Happiness._

Her time had come, her fight was over. And she was okay with that.

She accepted, embraced the fact that she was indeed human. She wasn't some perfect specimen full of wisdom, devoid of emotion, and of a higher calling than the mere mortals she once distinguished herself from.

 _Human._

And how wonderful it was to be just that.

As her chest relaxed, her eyes glazed over and she stood on the border between life and death, her final exhale carried the words:

 _"I giv ai op gon nemiyon kom sonraun."_

The phrase identical to that which she had spoken to Raven all those nights ago, but for one small change...

 _"_ I give myself to the miracle of _Life."_

The End

 **Season 4 episode 10 'Die All Die Merrily' is without a doubt the best episode of the show ever in my opinion, so many things were done so well and it was really a culmination of everything the show has ever been about, and it was great to see how far it has come from the early days of season one aka the time no one talks about.**

 **However, after going back and rewatching the episode to really try and understand everything the writers were trying to represent and impart to the audience, it struck me that one small change would have absolutely completed the episode, and in a lot of ways give more depth to Clarke's decision to take the bunker, and thus this story was born from the idea of Luna killing Octavia simultaneously.**

 **In the short time she was on the show, Luna became one of my favourite characters for the simple reason that she was so much more complex than any of the others (only Roan is on a similar level) and I wish they had done more to explain why Luna so suddenly made the choice to fight, as I feel that was one of the few weaknesses in the storyline of the episode (or maybe I just need to watch the previous ones more closely). Either way, that is what I attempted to do with this story: flesh out this alternate ending while at the same time attempt to explore much more deeply the character of Luna and give my take on why she is what she is.**

 **As always, I couldn't achieve the level of writing I aspire to without help, and in writing this story I drew on several sources:**

 **'The Second Coming', William Butler Yeats**

 **The quote about fighting dragons comes from Friedrich Nietzche**

 **'A Man For All Seasons', Robert Bolt**

 **'Ender's Game', Orson Scott Card**

 **Don't get me wrong, I love Octavia, and I can understand why the writers ended the episode the way that they did, but for me personally, I would have loved if they had the idea (or maybe the boldness) to end the episode in this way. I just hope I did an okay job at writing it.**

 **If you have any feedback, as always, feel free to let me know what you thought of the story, or things I could improve on. Any feedback is much appreciated.**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading this little one shot as much as I enjoyed writing it (and by the way, if you enjoyed my version of Luna, keep an eye out for her to be appearing soon on my OC story: 'Closer To The Edge – Identity')**

 **Gioia99**


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